It's funny how when you've not been in a relationship for so long that you convince yourself that you're really ok without one, that you're better off on your own. It's easier that way, isn't it? Who was I kidding?!? I had myself convinced of that for a while, and it took some honest introspection and many stories of my roommates online dating adventures for me to realize that I really did desire to find that certain someone, and that was ok. So on the second day of being stuck in bed from an awful cold, I gave in out of sheer boredom and signed up on ChristianMingle.com to see who might be out there...
Late on the evening of July 23 (he will tell you it was the 24th), I was winding down to call it a night and thought I would check my profile for any activity. You see, I had been on this dating site for nearly a year and had gone on only a handful of first dates. I was, to say the least, not very hopeful that this site would provide anything other than a source of entertainment. But what is this? Someone sent me a smile, AND added me to their favorites?!? How can that be? This guy hasn't even sent me a note yet! Oh, I have to take a look at who this is! Well his profile photo caught my eye first off! Great smile, nice eyes, glasses and a scruff of facial hair...I like! And it's a work picture, so he passes the "has a job" test. Nice.
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The work photo that lured me in.
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However, I was not prepared for what happened next. As I was reading through all that he had written about himself and his hopes for what he was looking for, I was intrigued and impressed, and then I was suddenly overcome and burst into tears! (now, those of you who don't know me may think that's a typical woman's reaction. Well, not for me. I am about as even-tempered as one could be and not prone to crying much). It took me a bit to realize exactly why I was crying. And I am still trying to comprehend it all because it was as if God was saying to me in that instance, "Look. See. This is the man I have hand-picked for you. I've been preparing him for you. (and you for him)." Whoa!! Just Whoa!!!!
I couldn't let this moment and opportunity pass me by without contacting this man! I was compelled to. And since he had made the initial contact, I felt ok in doing so. As in if this were "real" life, I would simply be returning the smile with a "Hi" (even though had this been real life, I likely would have been too shy and awkward to muster up the courage to do so). So I wrote him a short note that very night, even though the little logical voice in my head thought that because of the great distance, he would probably not want to proceed. But logic is far from what has defined our relationship. None of it makes sense apart from realizing that God is writing our story. I was pleasantly surprised when he wrote back right away, something about hair-pulling, note passing and teleportation. I laughed, I was excited, and I realized he was different and sincere, and the distance quickly became a blessing in disguise as we communicated more and more because, that is all that we could do. Emails became lengthier and deeper as we bared our souls. "This guy seems too good to be true", I often thought to myself. Then the instant messages and Facebook... Eek! What is he going to think when he sees what a dork I am? "Well, it's better that he find out sooner than later anyway", I figured. I'm who I am and it's no good pretending to be someone I am not. So I've just been me, and it's been wonderfully freeing. I almost cannot even describe how comfortable and safe it has been to get to know Matt. I felt as though I had known this man for much, much longer. I felt understood, known and valued for who I was like I have never felt before. Then came the first nervous phone calls, followed by FaceTime video calls with my heart doing flip-flops! But we quickly became comfortable with each other and talked and laughed and shared for hours at a time. And still it was never enough!
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FaceTime: He IS real!
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I knew we were sizing each other up as someone we might be considering for marriage from the start. I wanted to know if he was for real. Or was there a team of conspirators in some far off room of servers, hacking in to my world in order to play some sort of cruel virtual game?!? How can this man like me? And think I'm amazing? What? It doesn't make sense. He hasn't even met me yet? Really? Me? This can't be real...I must be dreaming! But with each new form of communication there was more and more evidence that he is the real deal and I let myself relax and enjoy this amazing experience. And it has been AMAZING!
I recall texting my sister less than a month into knowing Matt that I was pretty sure that he was going to be their future brother-in-law! As they say, "when you know, you know." I feel so blessed by this man! Without a doubt I know that he is an absolute gift from God. I am SO thankful for him!
Over Thanksgiving Matt visited Portland and we finally met face-to-face! It was indescribable! To at last be able to be in the same space at the same time was simply wonderful! It was a time filled with pure joy and much laughter! Now I am about to make my first trip to South Dakota and cannot wait! Christmas and New Years with the love of my life could not be any more perfect! I am so excited to experience more of this amazing adventure that God is leading me on! And I really look forward to all my family and friends (new and old) celebrating with us and sharing in our joy very soon. It's such a sweet feeling to be Wanted and Not Wasted!
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| Being our silly selves together in the Oregon woods. |
Ecclesiastes 3:12:
"So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can."
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